little e threw up last night. i helped him, holding his forehead and whispering it was going to be over soon. shh baby it's ok, almost over. shh get rid of it sweety (i write this in english now, but to him the words are all in italian)

he can knock me over with a gentle push, his little hands grip me forcefully. he is strong and sturdy for his age. but when he is sick, he is so fragile. so dependent of me, he relies on that hand on his forehead, unaware.

today he chirps like a bird, full of child energy.

amazing to think this lump of fleshy porridge that is now my body once had that same vitality.

the sun keeps shining though. and that's all good.

yesterday:

today:

the weather is only a metaphor

thank you
thank you
thank you

i'm a gina wannabe

wish i were here...


campo s.toma in Venezia

i have no patience. i used to be great with my friends' kids, playing with them, making up stories and fantastical adventures. i didn't talk the squeaky voice and they trusted me. "you'll be an awesome parent one day," that's what they all said.

now with my own loved child, my only reason for happiness, i have no patience. i'm no good at playing on the floor for more than 5 minutes and i can't make up stories anymore. my son deserves a fantastical adventure and i can't give it to him.

how does that rate on the 'awesome parent' scale?

...stayed up all night to watch the oscars at a friend's rooftop apartment. flat 3-foot HD screen, surround sound, unbuttoned relaxed kinda vibe, nachos and dip, nero d'avola, warm freshly baked cornetti from romoli, the works.

pity i had seen only 2 out of the 10 nominated movies and emptily cheered other people's happiness.

glad for katherine bigelow. by winning best director AND best picture, her Hurt Locker strikes a blow for low budget films, women, and ex-wives worldwide.

not that I ever was one, still–jussayin'

i'm sleepy now...

butterflies and zebras

Well she's walking through the clouds
With a circus mind that's running round
Butterflies and zebras
And moonbeams and fairy tales
That's all she ever thinks about
Riding with the wind.

When I'm sad, she comes to me
With a thousand smiles, she gives to me free
It's alright she says it's alright
Take anything you want from me,
Anything.

Fly on little wing,
Yeah yeah, yeah, little wing

~Jimi Hendricks